People are sooooo funny.  I am very fortunate, because I have hilariously funny people in my life.  People who keep me laughing, which in turn keeps me semi-sane.  Lately I have taken to writing down the funny things my friends and family say, lest I forget them.  So now I’m going to blog about them.  Some of these statements might not seem funny when you read them, but that’s okay, because as I write, I can see the “instigators of laughter” making these statements, and I can assure you they were quite funny.  So you just have to trust me.

My cousin Lacy, in response to my Aunt Linda’s attempt to provide very complicated directions, which she assured us would shave at least 3 minutes off of our journey to the store:  “Mom.  Shortcuts never work.  If they did, they would just be called THE WAY.”

My friend Joanne, when offered a hot dog:  “No thanks.  I don’t like side food.  You know, hot dogs, tacos, corn on the cob – food that you eat from the side.  I also don’t like spaghetti, because it slaps you.”

My friend Amanda, while watching her 8-year-old daughter’s soccer game:  “ELLIE RUN TOWARDS THE GOAL!!!  RUN THAT WAY!!!  RUN!!!  RUN!!!  RUN!!!  YOU’RE RUNNING THE WRONG WAY!!! (*sits down and takes deep breath*) “NOT THAT IT MATTERS, HONEY.  IT’S ALL ABOUT DOING YOUR BEST AND HAVING FUN!!!”

My mother, when I followed up after asking her to do a favor for me:  “Oh, I totally forgot about that.  Right after I decided not to do it.”  (Bwahahahaha…)

A great guy whom I supervise at work, during a recent staff meeting:  “Sorry, it’s not that I’m not listening to you.  It’s just that you have the thermostat set on hell in here.”

My awesome supervisor, during a conversation where we were expressing different opinions:  “This is not about winning or losing.  It’s about me being right.”

My 15-year-old friend Shorty, referring to a somewhat-out-of-control youngster:  “That kid needs a bully.”

My cousin Jill, in response to my telling her about a difficult thing that had happened to a friend of mine:  “The worst things always happen to the nicest people.  That’s why I’m such a b—-.”

My cousin Lacy (again), after being told by my Aunt Linda that she had taken food over to our aunt and uncle’s house following surgery:  “Oh my gosh, did you cook for them?  Wow, kick ’em while they’re down…”

My cousin Lacy (once more…), exasperated after being teased by another family member:

Aunt Linda:  “Lacy, he’s just full of B.S.”

Lacy:  “He’s about to be full of bullets.”

And…my personal favorite…

My precious friend Hannah, age 7, as we were walking to the car after her soccer game:

Hannah:  “Aunt Laura, your hair is sticking out from the side of your cap.”

Me:  “Okay, can you stick it behind my ear since my hands are full?”

Hannah:  “Yeah.  Here, lick my hand.”

 

 

Tagged: Laughter, Quotes on Sunday, May 29, 2011 · No Comments »